Another one of those wonderful days from hell. Too much work to finish from school and more stress migranes. It's no wonder I wanna move way the fuck away from here.

Boobie's at work the entire day, so I'm to fend for myself right now since no one in this damn family bothers to give me two ounces of respect unless he's around. Tried to get my English 2 homework done, that bombed horribly considering my mental brother refused to stop screaming at his video game like a fucking reject. Tried to work on my lesson plans and stuff for curriculum but that lasted all of two second before my brother decided to boot me from the downstairs puter where they are stored on. So now I'm stuck, doomed to last minute working because my brother is the fucking prince of the house. And before anyone dares to ask "Well why didn't you just tell your parents?"...I did. And anyone who knows them well, knows very well that Brian pretty much runs the house. He gets what he wants, period. No matter how rude he is. No matter how much of a slacker and a failure in life he is doomed to be. He rules the house, period. The worst bit of it all is he left the computer on and won't let me near it, even though he's heading out. And do you think my paretns give two shits that he won't be home? No, of course not. I'm just not allowed to use the TV or the downstairs computer because he's got a comp. and PS2 game going on at the same time. Oh the drama.

I just can't wait till the real world catches up to him, and smacks him in the fucking face. Then maybe he'll start treating some others with respect.

In other news, going to the Walpole mall tonight once BJ gets home from work. That should take some of the stress off of me, which I really need right about now. I don't know how many times in the past few weeks I've almost just broken down in tears because life seems to be slipping away thanks to time I'm losign to school and work. I really do hate growing up. And even though I've gotten to hang out with Shannon, spend some time with BJ, and talk to others via phone or just when I see them around, it's just not what it used to be. I can't stay out late anymore without fucking myself over. I can't go out with Heather anymore and have a girls night out, but thats more because I'm not single anymore. Not that I don't love Bobby to fucking death, but course being only 19 I'm still gonna miss some of the single privilages. But hey, it's all part of growing up I suppose.

But meh, ah well. Bobby came home and cancelled Brians game, so thats great. I'm sure I'll get my ass kicked for it, but at least someone put him in his place. And seeing as though he said he was going to kick the crap out of Bobby for it, I'm sure I can look foward to some sort of fight when the two are home together. But I'm done ranting. Maybe now that it's quiet I can get soem work done. Provided Brian doesn't pop through the door the second I get started.

Wanna go back to sleep sooooo bad. Skipped English last night, than Curriculum this morning. I'm gonna end up being up to my ass in work, but at this point it's like whatever. Work is killing me with these 30 hour weeks, on top of school full time. I'm mega burned, and there is nothing I can do about it. Sadly the semester is only half way through, and my ranting is only halfway through.

Let's start with Friday. Got out of work, took 500 out of the bank, and drove the half hour into Marlbroough, hoping to book a cruise and place a downpayment on for this summer. Before hand Bobby and I had talked to the travel agent we dubbed "Jonesie" because he looks exactly like that dude from Dreamcatcher. He told us all about it, gave us booklets, and told us we should be set when we wanted to set the date. So I got all excited, had the date set and everything, and then went to the travel agent, ready to go. Well apparently what "Jonesie" failed to leave out is that in order for me to get on the cruise, I need to have someone 25 years or older in the cabin with me. Welll....that totally ruled out the cruise.

So we instead decided to check out vacations in Tampa. So as of right now we have no clue when we are getting our well deserved vacation, since we are still debating which hotel to chose, and how much we want to spend (especially me since BJ wants a damn kitchen and with me paying most I'm not all like "yay" about it).

I was hoping to be lifted by the fact that Weathervane being reopened, and not really "gone out of business" like it was supposed to. But that all went downhill when I went in and realized it's all dress clothes now. That would be great if I had a job where I could wear those kind of clothes, but being that I work with children I really don't want to spend like 40 dollars on a single item and have it ruined within a day. So yeah, that killed my excitement for Weathervanes ressurection.

Saturday was pretty decent, besides the fact that Bobby had to work. Went to the Sox parade, got rained on a bit, but it was all in all pretty fun. Finally got my pink sox shirt that I've wanted forever. And yeah, I got home, totally crashed considering I had been up since like 4:30 that morning, and woke up sometime later in the day.

Sunday would have been perfect, provided I hadn't gotten a touch of food poisoning thanks to Pizza Hut. Had HORRIBLE stomach pains and diher....oh fuck, I can't spell that word for hte life of me, so yeah, I'm sure you know what I mean. But I got to hang out with Shannon, Peter, and his sister, so it was all good afterall. Oh yeah, and I made BJ rid himself of the fro once more =p

Yesterday was 9-5 day, so it naturally sucked. Today was good simply because BJ took the day off and we actually got some time together, without the disturbances of others, which was nice.

Bah. I've never felt so old and beaten up in my life. One of my big toes has a big splinter in it. The other big toe is all brusied and hurting because it got shut in one of those big heavy doors. Then my tooth is killing me and I have a yeast infection. Plus those rashes on my legs just keep spreading. Why does god hate me so much? But at least I'm only working two days this week, even if that will make my check suck when I get it. Then again, there is nothing to spend money on now that Weathervane has gone out of business, so I guess it will all go towards books for school and in the bank.

Had a get together at Nicoles the other night. Quite fun although Bobby and I didn't stay for long. Hope to have another one before we all head off our sperate ways again when college starts back up. I don't start until September 7th thank god, but thats less than a month and I still need to talk to that lady about possibly doing my praticum at work. But I'm done writing anything else since apparently there is the greatest humour in me saying praticum....so I need to go convince Bobby that it doesn't stand for practice cumming =p

Even after going out and spending my birthday money on three brand new shirts, nothing can seem to help dry out the dampened mood I'm in. Kinda hurts when your best friend who you've known forever decided to sell you out for some girl that hates you. Really, I wasn't too hurt at first but now it's sort of like, why? Makes me feel like I suck as a friend or something and makes me wonder if everyone else hates me as well.

First I thought it was Kenny that made Heather hate me. But those two broke up "because she was spending too much time with her friends." But of course seeing as though I can pretty much tell that Stacey hates me, from the several times I've met her, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was the reason Heather doesn't seem to want to talk to me anymore. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm taking things out of hand, or maybe I just feel as if though I'm not worthy of being called a friend. I don't know what is going on. I just know I feel like shit right about now.

Had a great time at the movies last night with Tara and Nicole which was nice. Getting together next Thursday night to ensure that we dont go into another see eachother ever six months pattern. Can't wait till then. But I've got a long strech of time to go through before I get there. I've got a doctors apointment tonight, a party for work at some persons house that I'm not to big on going to, but eh I'll do it just because. Got work Monday and Tuesday from 9-6. And god only knows it will probably be the same Thursday and Friday. But of course I'll probably find this out the day before or even the day of like I did last year with summer hours. I hate growing up so much. But at least I don't have school work to go home to like I did before. But as far as a summer vacation. That's looking very dim. Best I'll get is maybe a day or two off. Oh well. Here's to a nice big paycheck, I hope. Speaking of which, today's payday. Can't wait to see how much this raise will be. Hopefully it will be a decent amount. If not, oh well. Dissapointment loves to settle itself on me.

Sorta in a "I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything" mood. Apparently Jeremy and Alicia are flying in from Nevada to visit, but for some reason I just can't get excited even though I know both of them will be all grown up which should be exciting considering they are both like sibling to me considering we shared the same house for like four years or so. But I can't get excited knowing that Debbie might come along, which is spoiling the mood for me. She'll probably say something to piss me off and the entire dysfunctional will start all over again. I still can't let go of how much me and her did not get along and how much she ruined four years of my life by dating my father, but hey should they decide to fall back in love again at least I have somewhere to run to this time to avoid all the verbal abuse brought upon by her, and to avoid beating the shit out of her once again. Ah the dysfunctions of my household. But hey at least by seeing her I can prove her wrong about me growing up to be an uneducated crack whore who sells her body out on the street for a living. Afterall, isn't that what she told me what I'd amount to because I wasn't perfection like her oldest?

Since I didn't get the chance to say it yesterday since I wasn't around, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TARA!!!!!!!!! Anywho, today I started my subbing process and mailed in my teacher certification forms. Can't wait till I get the official certification and a nice raise. =D But as I was saying, preschool was better than I thought it would be. Too nervous though, felt like I was doing nothing. But I felt terrific when the infant director (aka my secondary boss) told me I did an AWESOME job this morning with the infants. Needless to say she said she wants me down on that end in the summer since she says I do great down on that end. Makes me feel so much better, and less nervous. I swear sometimes I get so nervous that I'm doing everything wrong, since I never really did any infant room work until recently, but I love it there honestly. Hoping to get a job as a Lead Infant Teacher now once I finish college due to how much I've really enjoyed it. Preschool is nice, but I feel more drawn to the Infant age because I feel I am less nervous, therefore do much better.

But onto other news. I'm getting a kitten!!! YAY!!!!! Actually it was my other grandma's but her simese totally wants to kill the poor thing, so of course I jumped on the oppurtunity. Of course that will mean litter changing and all that fun stuff, but eh I've got to grow up sometime and well if I can change 30 dipers a day, I think I can survive flushing cat liter.

Onto the one painful thing though, allerigies. They are kicking my ass. Honestly out on the playground today it looked as if I were crying and I could barely keep my eyes open because it stung so much. My eyes were tearing horribly and now my throat is starting to act up, bleh. Maybe when I go to my physical on June 3rd I'll see about allergies.

Been awhile since I've updated this thing. But then again not much has been going on. Had my first final Wednesday night which I think went fairly okay, and then my second today which I think I'll get at least a B on. Got to bring my pretty portfolio home today. Still have to finish curriculum and my article review for Thursday though. But I figure it could be worse. So eh I'll suck it up. Of course once I'm done with classes I dont get any sort of break so that sucks. Once classes are done I just go to working full time. Bleh, I hate growing up.

Heh. Went sorting through pictures the other day and I found this one which I still love though my grandma despises it.



Wish I could find the lesbian and penis ones. Tara knows what I'm talking about.

So much to say, but I don't know how to word ti all. Nothing bad, just too much work. I've been meaning to call like just about everyone and haven't gotten around to it. Wanted to call like Shannon, Heather, Tara, Rachel but it seems anytime I get a free moment either work calls or I remember an assignment I need to finish. Once school is done though I'm so calling everyone. Even if that takes forever. Course not really like I can do much until June. I'm working 5 hours short of full time even with school, so by the time June comes I'll be dead. But I'm going to River Rave, no matter what. Been meaning to call Heather and ask her if her and Kenny wanna come along with Bobby and I but I haven't gotten the chance to. Gonna visit her tommorow though during her break seeing as though BJ and I will be at the mall anyways. But yeah thats my story for today. Hurrah for somehow managing to keep it short.